Of Flowers and Honey Bees.

“and here goes my story.”

Nov 13, 2012 || 11:03 PM

But thank you for the pain, you made me raise my game.

. Scribbled at 11:03 PM |

0 Comments

furious

Nov 9, 2012 || 2:23 PM

That's just great.

Another thing for me to get out of my chest before I plop back into bed in defeat from this fucked up morning.

Jolted out of bed at 9:20am, by a friggin telephone call for a interview in school on such short notice its in half an hour's time.

And good lord she could chide me for still being in bed when I had something so important on..

but can someone please tell me; who on earth checks their email at 2:41am?! (the email regarding the interview was sent at that ungodly time)

So I had completely no idea of the reporting time because I don't freakin check my email in the middle of the night! of course its my fault again, "please remember to check your email." they said.

Full formal attire, full make-up and hair must be impeccably done and I must be there by 9:55am. At a place where I've never even heard properly before I hung up and rushed my preparations.

And thank heavens the school's so close to my house so cabbing didn't take 10 mins.

Arrived on time, and you really have no idea how great a feat that was for me to pull off, literally broke all my standing records with time to spare!

alighted at TRCC, I vaguely remembered the caller saying RPC which I've never in my life heard before, so I called to say I reached, and yay I was in the wrong location, "RPC is OSC, you didn't know?" in a tone suggesting I had a walnut for a brain.

Okay so I went for the interview, But of course not before repeated warnings at the door that i'd better explain myself for not waking up early.

Okay so enter a flustered, subdued and completely unprepared me, facing three formal ladies from corporate communications, I kept zoning out every few seconds as they talked and talked to me, thank god they were understanding and I knew I won't be giving a very good first impression.

So I emerged from the room with a lighter heart.

and here comes the second chapter,

Decided to go to the library and borrow books, borrowed 9 in total and was waiting for the bus at the interchange when I was oh so wantonly assaulted.

I'd seen the woman many times before, overweight, excessively gross build up of eye booger and wearing home clothes. she asked me for money as usual, and I regretted giving her a few dollars for the past few times as she is perfectly capable of working and I don't get why does she not do so, she would rather go along the line in the interchange, asking for money from people ambushed between metal bars. I noticed the amounts she was asking for boldly increased with time too.

so she appeared from behind today, asking the same question, I told her I didn't have change, and she continued down the line as usual, targeting the rest, I was first in line waiting for the bus and in the first row, she was in the second row which had noone except for her, the third row had a few people too.

I resumed reading my book, listening to her in the background. Alot of people ignored her and told her they had no money too, till a skeptic malay woman gave her a dollar, and from her tone scarcely believing her story she had no money for the bus home, she then asked for ten dollars, the malay girl refused, then silence.

Out of nowhere, I felt a fist whack into the back of my head with a scream from her, and it sent me sprawling to the railings in front of me, I am not fucking kidding, so of course I whipped back, startled. The woman hit me?!

She was glaring at me like I murdered her family, she started wailing and yelling at me, saying she does not have money and she hates people like me who have money and still don't wanna give her, say her mother doesn't want her and the like. And y'know what? she is freaking bilingual! she kept switching between chinese and english all the while yelling at me. as if she wanted to make sure everyone in the crowd that was gathering understand I was being mean and a big bully.

So I moved away and stood there awkwardly, looking at her, bewildered, back of my head throbbing from the blow, when she suddenly made a grab at me and pushed me again, and this time the ahma beside me pulled me back and kept saying 'ahmithaba' in a calming manner to the woman. I would have laughed had I been in a different situation.

An auntie behind asked me if I knew her and I said I don't, she made space for me and asked me to move further in to avoid the woman while she stood there sniffing and tearing and glaring at me like I was the one who hit her.

A minute later the bus arrived, I was afraid to walk forward as it meant I had to pass in front of her, and I did so sticking to the bar, putting as much space between us as possible, everyone behind me filed past her warily too.

I boarded the bus and sat beside the auntie who protected me, thankful I had someone to talk to. and the whole time the tearing woman never took her eyes off me, I stared back uneasily, there was once she walked to the door and wanted to board the bus and the auntie and I were like 'oh shit oh shit oh shit.' haha!

The doors finally closed after everyone boarded, and her narrowed eyes followed me even as the bus drove off. damn creepy!

now, at that point of time after the day's events I was still in a pretty neutral mood. I wasn't condemning the goddamn world for anything, accepting it as it all came along, but I had to go and share my summarized story, and got a response I instantly flared up like a spark in a coal mine.

Here I am, deliberately assaulted and antagonized with ZERO provocation, she should already thank her stars I didn't reciprocate, and now I'm being accused of what?
I don't know, does it help my mood that I've only had about 4 hours of sleep? Nope, it certainly doesn't.

I got mad mad mad, and minutes later news arrived that my interview got accepted (yay.. er?), on a side note; I am not gonna receive a single cent for 45 hours of work every week.

asked to double-confirm, they replied with a 'yes no money unfortunately.'

so okay, that took the breath out of me, it sure did. That was the last last last straw.

yeah, and then my Modus operandi when i'm stressed? OD on chocolate. exactly what I did immediately, chocolate MnMs, choco chip muffin, choco pocky, and chocolate pillows, all in an hour. Strange how I loathe chocolate usually but I'd stuff my face with it when I'm in a foul mood.

what an adventerous day, huh. and its only just started yo. that's why I'm suspecting whether everyone was in cahoots to cook me over, its internatinal flip lena day! mentally, physically, morally then mentally again. hmm, wait there's something missing, socially.

alright, don't worry I'm gonna be doing that myself now. goodbye!

. Scribbled at 2:23 PM |

0 Comments

Humdrum H'ween

Nov 1, 2012 || 2:46 AM

Well something was bound to give, and the floor collapsed today because the whole time, rot was already spreading beneath insidiously, can't you see it was only a matter of which fissure cracked first?
But there's one thing we can be sure of, it won't ever be the same no more.

Telling myself not to care, but I find myself on a stress food-binge and blasting music into my ears. Hoping to drown out the voice at the back of my head warning me I'm very close to it too, and another one way further back, so soft now its almost mute, always questioning, questioning me how I am living so sordidly.
And peppering it up nicely would be -what else- but select surreptitious thoughts?

This slope is sure treacherous.
so like I previously asked, how do you go on?

lol I just realized how I'm so freaking used to typing cryptic and even manage to rant cryptically wtf.

. Scribbled at 2:46 AM |

0 Comments

◄ Older posts froggy says hi!

Newest posts ►

Here I am, deliberately assaulted and antagonized with ZERO provocation, she should already thank her stars I didn't reciprocate, and now I'm being accused of what?I don't know, does it help my mood that I've only had about 4 hours of sleep? Nope, it certainly doesn't.

Here I am, deliberately assaulted and antagonized with ZERO provocation, she should already thank her stars I didn't reciprocate, and now I'm being accused of what?
I don't know, does it help my mood that I've only had about 4 hours of sleep? Nope, it certainly doesn't.