“and here goes my story.”

September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 February 2013 June 2013 December 2013 January 2014

what do you think?

i, lena, know what is contentment. or at least i think i do.
i, lena, dont need no love in her life to move on.
i, lena, can go through a day without thinking of him at all.
lastly, i, am ready to forget.

long time no see, world.
i've been through alot.
i met alot of new people,
i made alot of friends and haters.
i've fallen in love a couple of times.
im gradually forgetting him.
i wnna hold on
my body wont
i look terrible
im a mess,
but i've never been loved more in my entire life.
i think thats enough.

definitely running!

Ask me anything

My snowman friend.

Ask me anything

FIONA IS FAT

was back the last two days,
slacked around super lazily,
and i have work tomorrow like in a few hours.
didnt find any motivation to blog blah~
though i have loads to share.
lazy to upload pics,
lazy to put on makeup,
lazy to eat/sleep/talk/etc,
well i'll wait till i get through this lazy spell before i continue about my trip to malaysia and the 'photoshoot' today.
HAHAHA
im afraid i have allergies to wild-unruly undergrowth.
=/

Dont ask.i know i look retarded.=[

BOO!
okay starters;
this is an update since two days ago i couldnt upload pics and ytd i still pissed with blogger so...
god knows why i still remember what i wanted to post about.
well i was finishing a whole container of egg rolls when i decided the house couldnt stay messy and all that anymore.
i must seriously get down to organising my stuff when it comes down to having the peace of my mind.=/
wanna know what in particular is giving a headache?
go on, gasp at my oh-so-neat spots..NOT

Here's my room:

we've moved for at least four months and its still unpacked.=/
...so much for the princessy room i so wanted when we moved in at first.

...
aaaaaaand my wardrobe cum dressing table cum clothes rack.
...
..

thats glamorous for you.

Next, the computer table!!
now i seriously wonder how i get by concentrating with this clutter around me..
notes and snack wrappers and stuff..=S


Then:
our drawers!
(if you looked closely at the upper picture it is the drawers under the computer table..)
AND do notice the depths, my drawer's actually full to the brim, while my sis' actually has empty spaces in between!so dont judge it by its look okay!!
=C

..
these are like 10% of the messy stuff okay!
just snapped the obvious ones only.
=[......

alright.time to get to work!
will be back if i get out of it alive.

ah! wait!in order not to leave a bad impression (wtf) better show you a neat pic of sorts.=S
here's lena, shes absolutely adores clearing up messes and then making some more!
faboo!
NOT.

FINE.
bye~

played with new editing software today..
geez.

suddenly my world's off its axis.
i dont know why but everything definitely dosent feel right.
i make excuses to myself that work's keeping me busy.
but its blatant its my thoughts that make me hate what i do.
well, it stemmed from my thoughts anyway.
inexplicable longing for something that i would never have- in the near future, at least.

okay.time to talk some sense.
work's been quite kind this week as its the end of the rewards card season and ppl have been painfully scarce.well,to the company, at least.Muahahaha
there was someone new today,
a Filipino, ANOTHER one, i mean.
funny how thier age seems to increase with each new addition.
well,shawn wouldnt be him if he didnt 'chat' her up straight.=X
LOL.its usual behavior. standard.makes me wonder why he didnt treat me like that though.
maybe i look to fat.
Z.
hey its the first time his name appeared.well not that anyone elses' does anyway.

draca is driving me crazy.
in the baaaad way.
cause i cant play for more than an hour without it mysteriously pronouncing me dead.
kinda gets in the way, know!
(actually i know why.. its due to the lag tyvm dear computer.)
and thus, i cant really accompany my ppl at work to play!
even im not sure whether to hold this entirely true or not.
Ah well.
P.S:i have pictures! but im lazy to upload them so..
*waves.
@%#@ at least wait for me to organise first luhs.
which would not happen soon.--

taking a turn for the worse.
feeling extremely uncomfortable now.

no one but no one could know nor feel.
but oh how i wish,
i wish i could halve this with that somebody - who's taking its own sweet time to come into my life/to change.

NO.no no no no.
ugh. i hate replying to these useless yet irritatingly common questions.
or rather, that one question.
dont mind me,im having a relapse.
whatever.

sigh.im hungrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry.
no shops're open at this time i just got home and im rotting over here!!!
NOT.the last part,i mean.
im reaaaaaaaly thirsty but the only water available right now is boiling hot water.
ahahaha.not funny.-____-
gosh,my hair's not well recieved manszcxcxsxz.=[
ah well, i'll wait for it to grow back.
in like 2763858 days.
yeah.damn that hairdresser i hate the ludicrous hairstyle $#*%#^$*^#$.
i can NEVER make my signs look like swear words,no matter how hard i try.arghs.
...
nownownow,what was i going to do?
oh yes,go and bathe!
which is what i am zipping off to do now byebye.

LOL.-,-

time flies when you're having fun.
...
IT SURE DOES ITS MONDAY NOW!!!!
ugh!ugh!ughhh!
whilst im eating my steaming hot fishball noodles over here,
im dreading the rest of this week and the prospect of doing my hair(AGAIN) later on.
i cut my hair myself ytd.the back,i mean.now its considerably shorter and uglier.
while my mum cut my fringe.its better but definitely not nice and obstinately wouldnt settle the way i want it to.grumps.
why's the world so unfair?!
rcv-ed my schedule ytd,
want me to show you my schedule?
the first msg was:
wed:10-3
thur:10-3
fri:10.30-3
sat:10-4
then i was feeling so happy and floaty about it when BAM,the next one showed SLIGHT changes.
tues:6-10.30
wed:10-3
thurs:10-10.30
fri:10.30-3
sat:10-4
all of them am to pm.-____-
...
Hey!
im not doing some easy job where you stand there feeding ppl false information like oh its the best product we have here i use it everyday its veryveryvery good! NO.
nor am i staring at the clothes rack waiting for customers to walk in so i can run over with a fake smile plastered all over my face saying please take a look at our wares! to a grouchy-faced ahmah.NO.
hello,im doing ardous tasks like having to memorise the menus AND their ingredients AND their jap names And getting scolded for not remembering them And running around carrying a big heavy tray loaded with food in EACH hand And faking enthusiasm at serving dumb ppl And washing dirty tablecloths And sweeping the floor And clearing tables And getting my hands soaked in bleach And etcetc.
...
all of the above for a measly sum of $6/hr.mind you!
makes me wish i was back in school.
why dont you quit then? you ask,
look, heres the crux part of it all; i cant quit.
its not that i dont want to,duh.
its about politics when it comes to this.
and i hate those mental games that i suck at.
so, when i get outta there, god forbid that in any future i'll have anything to do with that industry.seriously.
how am i gna get out of there?dont ask.
if i knew i would be typing a very happy post right now about how fun work was today and how my hair would rock your socks off.
...
naaaa,just messing with you.

okay.rave's over.sighs.let me get to finishing my now-cold fishball noodles then.
*waves

Well im not fearless.
im afraid of ghosts and spiders and bad hair days.
you kinda cant be unafraid of everything,
y'know.

even i dont get the point of these.
back to playing games!
tatas~

uarghhhh!
guess what?
im a extremely terribly horribly woefully everything the evilest person in the world!
say what?
Yes,
plus the extremely terribly horribly woefully everything the evilest person in the world just pounded away two neopets!!!*OOOOOOO!*
Gee.
she even went to the heinous extent of stripping away all customisation!
i'd go to hell for this..
felt so bad lah! sure im gonna wallow in my own guilt for days on end now.
...
i have a conscience okay!

OK.
big deal.
should stop playing neopets ehs.
anw finished the plot today.
EXTREMELY time-consuming one okay.
thought i got some faboo prize,
seesh.={
734676523984341843487 more ppl have already finished before me,i realised later.
wtfff.
Back to business.im still on the same page;
i havent done my hairrrrrr!
i havent organised my stuffffff!
i havent started my portfoliooooooo!
its THURSDAY.omgftw
i havent done anything, basically.(well, 'least im into operaaaa these days..NOT.)
and that includes going to ntuc to buy groceries for tonight.
which is a harrowingly ridiculous task.
which i am going to commit now.
which will take away half my life.NOT.

Waves*

heyyyyyyyyy!
took the whole week off from work.
result of overbearing laziness.
todays the first day and its almost over.
considering the fact that i conjured a whole list of things to settle during my break,
i'd better get my butt moving.
sighh.
finished 'splurgin' the money in my bank account.
well,i had to pay the utilities and give my parents 100bucks each,
its no surprise im running out of it..
>__________________<

..
anw,going to do my hair tomorrow,thus its byebye to ye ole lena and aloha to another image! Faboo~
=S.
oya, have to get some music for my blog and uploads photos horh.
AND WHEN DID IMEEM GO UNDER MYSPACE?!?!
just got the shock of my life lah.
no wonder the music stopped in my old blog -template,to be precise.
a lil late to be realising that,in any case..
..
so im gonna break my bad streak of not-sleeping-bef-2 today!Hooray!
while ughh,simply thinking of the things i have to do makes me shudder.
can't leave them alone in a peace of mind though..Z.

so BYE!
---update---
Figured i break my streak tomorrow cause' its 2.37 am now.__
ARGHHHH

time seems to crush into a unclear scramble.

I don't know what happened today,
nor what happened today was today.
Every thing's a mess,that's for sure.
all my procrastinated things and unpacked stuff doesn't exactly help.
I don't know what to do with me,her,they and these.
UGHHH.
just realised its year 2010.

probably'll be playing games all through.-.-
someone get me off neopets,for zeus' sake.
point a gun at me or something, y'know.
sighs~

wish i could get access to the old photos in yo olde hard disc.>___<how?i dont know to move forward or to give up.
why isnt there a guide or whatever for this sort of thing?
and how do people even get together?
how can you be sure at all?
how does yahui score that many=X?
It is fascinating how i can't figure that out.
and i thought i was one of the best persons i knew.
NAH!Kidding!
everything's wrong.nah.i'm wrong.

Kay.enough between the two of me.
gotta go snore.
anw,it 3.10 am alr.
WTF?!

i reckon'ed i should start opening my eyes to people.
no use speaking through a mask
...

all's not over yet.
sun gna rise 2mr,too.
nth's changed.
the tears dried up eventually too.
im still me.
physically,at least.
no one would understand my ardent desire/s.
不要紧啦。

oh no,
im totally not ready for christmas,
let alone the new year..
and all the horrible afterwards.
GAAAh.
actually i was back in singapore like,
the last few weeks luh.
didnt bother to update at all.
sick,sick,again.=S
not really busy actually luhs.
but i keep shunning reality,
whatever.
oh,
heyheyhey.whu knows when 23 dec is?
lalala
okies byeeee.
sorry.><

irritating day.
i miss fiona.T_T
whu caresczx.
my legs are full of cuts.
idk wheretheF they came frm.--
hurt like heck.
munching on top.=D♥
jealousy and music fills my mind now.
taken on new craze.LOL
namie rawk temporarily.^^
lazy to change my blogsong.
keep it up,man.
im not gna give up,yet.
just dunno.gna have meltdwn.or hold on.
sigh,no choice,isnt there?

p.s:yay,i winnest ♠

idk why they brought the lizard with them.
k,
me and branc,
went beach,
semb bitch,
saw this two guys,
caught a crab a load of fish and a LIZARD?!
i thought it was fake,
they put it into their bag and actually brought it onto the bus and mrt!
*faints,
ok,
anw,
nvm,
thats not the point,
im so tired out!!!,
we built three 'sea walls',
And LOL,
we lost to a lil boy.--
the fucking sea was so destructive,
we kept having avalanches!,
it was so fucking tedious i tell yu.--
and happy new year i only got two pictures?!><
*throws wallet..XP
i spoilt branca's comb and it wasnt the first time i broke sth of hers.
srysrysrysrysry luhsczxcxsz.
okok im so ewwy and sticky now..bb i go bathe.

P.S:i bullied a crab!!WHAHAHAHAH

I DREAMT OF HIMMMMMMMMMM!♥
XP
what?
haixzcsxczxsczxzcsz.--
i dun care anyway
who said i did?
i dun care i dun care D=
completed odin sphere!!!!
*laughs gleefully
that's my like,third done disc.whahahaha

some irritating ppl ah..
makes me wna vomit.
k lah, no luh.
just wna throw sth at her nia.
rotten eggs and my handphone and etc..

i dunno why i cant find yu!!!
><
looked like crazyy.whaaaaas
k lahs.
oh no.gna bathe lerhs.BBYE.

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
life's a fucker.
what do you WANT?!?!
a FUCKERR!
i seriously wna give up.
been busily lazy these days.
its as if being smothered.
im jealous yet im not.
i cry yet im happy.
im a bitch,you know,like,your best friend.
yeah.
im doing everythng wrong.
nothings' correct anyway.
found myself wandering pointlessly round your area again.

♥

something's bothering me now.
idk what's bothering me.you or me?
•_______________•
i hate you i hate you i hate you.
yet i cant seem to find a way out.
whenever i get close.
always.

todayyy

i thank you.
thank you all.
thanktyouthankyouthankyou.
gomenasai.♥
ohwhyohwhyimissyouwangshengmingimissyoulikeinvdoneb4whywhy.
giving up soon.
idk anymore.
but i've said it a million times.

i wna watch

mamma mia!!!!!!!!!!!

♥heartt amanda seyfried.=S
LOL.
ton-ed[sort of.] 3 whole days!!!
my first real sleep was like,
4hrs?
><
went crazy anw.
Lousy fire crackerzx.
Wtf is gg on with my dad?

LOLO.

BBC.--
gna figure it all out soon.
gna live soon.♥

zBYEBYE

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