“and here goes my story.”

September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 February 2013 June 2013 December 2013 January 2014

Staying at home, eating, and sleeping, then sleeping then eating and in this neverending cycle,
I realised I am so without an aim.. :(
for instance, I don't have any aspirations or whatnot,
I can't summon the strength to go for them if they appear, either.
I don't know why, but life kinda lost some meaning.
I mean, everything's going well, work, school, relationships, family.
Oh wait. My social life.
It's a complete blank, haa.
What am I waiting for?
I don't know, I simply can't bring myself to speak out or throw in some initiative to save myself.
But actually, I did bring it all on myself,
Isolating myself to one part, and when I left I left all of them at once.
Smart, arent I? Noone told me that I had to make reserves.
All I wanted was exclusivity. I guess that don't work in the world now.
sigh. How I hate society, hated, hate and always will I guess.
Its like everyone's hiding a big secret from me, kinda like fashion too..
How'd you individuals make it look so simple to you when I don't even get the gist of it?
when I go my way I get scoffed at. wtf.
But theres really nothing much I can do about it, can't I? Im living here right now, know.
But when I feel everything is going well without effort, I feel upset because I don't feel anything, but when I feel something's missing, I obviously feel upset too. I get it, im looking for a sense of accomplishment. Something I haven't gotten to savour in a long time.
Looking at my good results didnt give me no kick, because I didn't put in a trace of effort for them. But I cant get my damn butt up to work for them.
It seems I don't really get myself either.
Where's that push I need.. :/

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