Said i'd collect my wallet at 12pm but I'm still at home now, prolly gonna reach at 3-4pm wtf. Then i'll head down to JZ to work. Till closing. Ain't looking forward to it, because all i can imagine is people looking at me judging me(I dont even know for what?) and because I'll be sleeping late and I hate the prospect that so much food is around me i'll have difficulty controlling again. Well, in any case its the same at home.

Yes I'm pretty messed up.

I need to go for a run tomorrow, seriously. 

its been going round and round in my head, why i'm avoiding all possible human contact.. what would I say if someone asked me 'are you ok?' 'what are you doing now?' 'What are you gonna do in the future?' I have no idea what to answer to all of that, at all. Its true, i've been asked that so many times the last week, and every single time, its a completely different answer, I even managed to confuse my colleagues on what I'll be doing after I leave work, as the answers were so varied and different, they became suspicious, and that simply resulted in alot more questions.. I haven't sorted it out in my head, how am I gonna reply? And I would be afraid that if I attempt to do so, an overwhelming torrent of words will come out because the reasons are so tangled together, I cant say something without the entire truth spilling out. And what is the truth?